Image credit: Mari Andrew
Sometimes a picture speaks louder than words. It did for me when I saw this image by Mari Andrew in March 2020. I remember looking at it at the time and thinking, I get it, but how on earth do I turn those shattered pieces into a work of art?
I honestly felt like nothing was going to get better, but if I could show my future self where I am now, she would have known there was nothing to worry about.
And now, despite that the universe will always throw new lessons, my pieces that broke over the last few years have actually become my best work of art. I guess you could say, dropping my big vase turned out to be a good thing!
Mini disclaimer: These are my experiences only and I am no doctor/counsellor and nor have I trained in any of those fields. These are my personal experiences.
Some of the steps I took
My motto is to be ‘authentically myself,’ so I’m sharing my real experiences with you here in hope that if you have been (or are currently) in the ‘I just dropped my huge vase’ stage, you’re not alone (and you will get through it!).
1. I learnt to cry and let it out
And let it out, I did! Believe it or not, allowing myself to really cry used to feel wrong, so I would stop myself from even beginning to cry, which therefore lead to my tears having nowhere to go or any relief. I now realise there is huge power in journalling and releasing emotions.
When my house flooded and I was told it was okay to move home (despite it looking like a torn-down warehouse), I sobbed as I showered and unpacked. At one point, I ever screamed (my poor new neighbour downstairs!). But I let it out and it felt good to do so! When I told two of my besties, they simply said, “let it out girl and make a little space in your apartment where you can journal, drink coffee and meditate.” If you’re reading this, you know who you are! Thank you for finding me a solution to make this current situation liveable.
As Erika Cramer says, “crying is just salty liquid coming out of your eye balls.” When Mr Big died in And Just Like That… I balled! The funeral bought up all the emotions of having lost my Dad six months prior, and I felt totally okay to have that salty liquid exploding out of my eyeballs. Crying is a great cathartic release and is better out than bottled up!
2. I joined The Queen of Confidence Sistahood
Oh my, where do I begin with this one? I’m still reflecting on everything I learnt in the Sistahood (which I’ll refer to here as the ‘Hood’) and absolutely love catching myself breaking those bad habits, thanks to sooooo many lessons from last year.
While I had already done a lot of personal development, I knew I needed a feminine circle to do more.
I’d listened to Erika Cramer’s podcast “The Confidence Chronicles” for years, and after meeting some the women in the Hood randomly at a cafe, I just knew that was my sign to join! I was finally ready to do more work.
Little did I know however, that I would come out with the biggest life-long lessons; take aways; life improvements; lessons from oh so wonderful, Byron Katie; and feeling so vulnerable (while safe) with the most supportive group of women I could ever imagine! Writing about my experience in the Hood requires an entire blog on its own!
3. I FocusED on what I could control
I’ve gathered a few great sayings over the past few years. Here’s my favourites:
“It is what it is.”
“Focus on what you can control.”
“Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary.” ~ Laura Morel
My friend Zoe read somewhere that, “When you can truly say “it is what it is,” you’ve reached enlightenment.” And when Laura said “Nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary,” it instantly reminded me that no matter what the situation or how we might be feeling, nothing stays the same forever.
We can’t control a death in the family. We can’t control a house flooding. Yet we can control how we handle those situations after the shock has passed. We can practice self love and care, and we can make sure we do things that truly light us up and fill up our cups again.
4. I FOUND ANOTHER AMAZING TRIBE!
As well as already having an amazing friendship group and family I’m close to, through my volunteer marketing work with the Australian Women in New York Comms Team, I suddenly had another tribe of supportive women in my life. They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I also believe it takes a village of amazing people who always have your back, to encourage you and remind you to be bold.
Our tribe doesn’t have to be work-related or even volunteer-related. It could simply be a few people you have connected with along the way in life or people who you know will always have your back!
Make act three your best work of art
So you see, a shattered vase can be a very good thing. For it is in these situations that we grow, learn new lessons, and realise we are more stronger than we think.
While act two might have felt horrible, shocking and exhausting, the third act could turn out to be your greatest work of art. I know it has for me.
Much love, Simone Xx